Bye

GOODBYE FOR GOOD!

"Certain things are lost forever" - Paulo Coehlo, Eleven Minutes

aw

i sold my manual SLR for 1K and i felt BAD.

i really need cash.

Bente-Uno

hey dianne,

you're twenty-one years old. when you were younger, you thought being twenty-one requires great responsibilities and high level of maturity. you thought twenty-one is OLD. but now you're in the middle of being twenty-one, you see yourself, you're still a kiddo, ignorant of this life. trying this and trying that but not getting enough. wanting to be someone. imagining if the world is better, life is better.

and you find out that being twenty-one is being jobless, loveless and penniless.

what else can be worse than that?

sigh.

go dianne!

get some LIFE!

Shit.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable.

It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

- Niel Gaiman

don't judge a book by it's movie

2009 copyright sunkissedianebenavidez

i made this out of the negative reactions from my friends who watched new moon.

if you want to repost, don't just grab. ask permission. attribute the author. i'm willing to share.

CHANCE

"but like i said, i'm not losing hope. not now. not yet. and i hope that before all hope is gone a chance will come along."

this is an excerpt and the last line from the post i wrote last month about the path that i want to take. you may check this for some background.

a while ago, my sister called. i'm expecting that her call is for mama or papa but no it's not. my sister's call is intended for me. and guess what she told me..

"nag-apply ka na ba sa abs-cbn? (i passed my resume there for a production assistant position for entertainment weeks ago)"

i told her "di pa ko pumupunta don.."

then she said.. "tumawag ako kay ivan (her batchmate who now works as a news anchor and reporter in GMA) kailangan daw nila ng reporter."

my world stopped for a second. and soon my heart jumped! this is it. this is all i asked for. A CHANCE.

these past days i was almost convinced that i should try applying in call centers. (abs-cbn never called me) after all ,the pay is good, i thought. christmas is fast approaching and i don't want to sit and just wait for it to pass. i must move. i've also asked my friend gladz (she works in converygys) to refer me so i can get a job interview asap. and here it is, a short phone call from my sister that changed everything and brings me back to track again. the hope that almost faded came back to me. this time it is stronger.

i might be overreacting, my sister told me that there's just vacancy. she did not said that you're hired.. but for me it almost feels the same.. because all i was asking is a chance. a chance where i can give my best shot and see if it's going to succeed or not. this may also give me idea if the job is really meant for me. well, after all, it's hell much way better to be happy knowing that you have a chance than to have no chance at all. no chance means disabling you to even try the least thing you can do to reach your dream.

i'm just overwhelmed right now, knowing that i have the CHANCE. mixed emotions are playing in me.. excitement and fear. excitement, thinking if i get hired i would probably be the happiest person alive landing my dream job. and fear, fear that they can reject me and the job wasn't for me.

anyway, now that i have the chance. the next thing to do probably is to think of the best ways not to blow the chance. more hopes and courage is also needed. and most importantly prayers. pls. pray for me and wish me all the luck in this world.

No more chance

- grabbed from tumblr

BEA: Ingat!
JLC: Linya ko yan eh! Huhuhu.

this movie never fails to make me cry and i'll never get tired of watching it. hehe

this is what i always fail to do



....because i'm paranoid.

sings...

grant my last request just let me hold you.
don't shrug your shoulders.. lay down beside me..
sure i can accept that we're going nowhere
but one last time let's go there.. lay down beside me..

- excerpt from the song "last request" by paolo nutini

the probable cause of most heartaches



and it's inevitable

Girl Power

i'm so blessed having such great girl friends around me. and i can say, whenever i'm with them, it feels like that being single is not bad at all. (because were all single! haha!)

it's great to talk only about ourselves, fun experiences together, shopping, girls stuff, make-ups, good food, gimmicks, plans for our career (well, i don't have one yet but i have plans ok?.) and anything under the sun. so much better than before when were still attached to some guys and all we've talked about is how we can make our relationships work with them. how insensitive they are. it's an endless rants of this and that. well, i'm not saying that we can live without men, (God knows that we know how much good it is to be love and fall in love and all that wonderful feeling of romance) i'm just saying that i've found out that being SINGLE and HAPPY at the same time is really possible and not just made to be an excuse or just said because we hate to make ourselves feel pathetic.

thanks for the company bhezz and gladz. it was so much fun last night. i can't believe that we've spent all the time malling, having coffee, talking, eating and talking again until midnight.

and on wednesday, we have another get together with more friends and more talks and laughters. but it's not an all girls party. (thanx for sponsoring the upcoming house party ezz)

ciao!

Click

if there's one thing that i miss a lot

that's none other than

film photography

and my super old manual SLR




no light meter. no memory card. no zoom lens. just still reality. images of life.

i bought this manual slr for only 2k for my photo journalism class when i was still in college.
it's maybe old but still works fine.
right now it's not on my hands because i lend it to a friend.
and God i really miss it.
i remember whenever i shoot with my friends.
we go to different places just to take pictures.
we've been to intramuros. tagaytay. anywhere.
and it's FUN.
expensive though.
i can't count how many films i've wasted.

P.S.
i dream of having a digital slr. but will still keep my old slr which gave me the first taste of satisfaction of a good shot. i'll be sharing some of my shots i took few years ago as a student. as soon as i get it scanned.

Joke?

Some jokes are half-meant no more.

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?”

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”

“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.

“For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a group of islands and said, “What are those?”

“Ah,” said God. “That’s the Philippines, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, mountains and forests. The people from the Philippines are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as carriers of peace and love.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, “What about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”

God replied, “Wait until you see the idiots in their government.”

SAD BUT TRUE.

simple joy :)

i love yakult :)

went to supermarket yesterday and grabbed a pack of yakult... yum! :)

Sigurado ka tyan!

The Wonders of Ukay-Ukay

last week, diosa, casey and i (super friends) went to ukay-ukay to kill our intolerable boredom. sure this is not my first time to go to ukay-ukay. i've been to ukay several times with my other friends and just found myself itchying and tired looking for some good items that are good as new, fashionable yet cheap but ended up finding nothing and buying nothing. i envy my other girl friend gladz with her amazing power and patience in finding great items at ukay.

me: "Uy! Bago? Nice!"
gladz: "Nope.. it's from ukay."
Me: "Talaga! Di halata! Sosyal!"
gladz: "Hulaan mo kung magkano?"
me: "100.. 50.. ?"
gladz: "Twenty... haha"

then i wonder what kind of ukay power this girl has. is it the ukay where she went to? is it her patience? is it her determination to find something for herself? no. it's about luck. yes, i say ukay is a matter of luck. there are many chances when i found something nice but has damage underneath, nice but it's not your size, nice but you hate the color or nice but it was already taken by somebody. unlike in malls and departments stores, you can't ask for sizes, colors and for another same item. in ukay,each item is the only item. finding an item you like, in good condition, your size, your style and your color is none other than LUCK. hehehe

and this time i think i got lucky! :) wooohoo! :)

here are the items that i scored...






i got two pairs of shoes for only 300 pesos. 150 pesos per pair. and it's almost good as new. :)

i also got this cute jacket for also 150 pesos. i love the color and it fits so right. :)


diosa and casey have also found some cute shoes that fit them and while paying in the counter we asked some sales ladies and a cashier when will they get new stuff again because we think we have already got all the good items that we want in their store. they said second week of december is the next bagsakan and for sure we'll be back for more.

A Rainy Day (the continuation)

Oh well, just like how i described the rain a while ago, "drizzling calmly", too calm that only my head, face and shoulders got wet. haha! The amount of raindrops is not enough to wash me off. So i decided to take a shower in the bathroom instead. haha! Anyway, bathing in the rain is such a great thing to do. It reminds me a lot of my childhood memories wandering around our backyard and getting my head washed with the abundant rain water from our roof's "sirang alulod". (my brother told me not to do that again because all of our cats poop on the roof)

After realizing that no matter how long i stayed under the rain it won't wash me off. I've decided to get in and take a shower in the bathroom and found out that my bestfriend has just arrived and waiting for me. My mother thought i was in the bathroom so that's what she told my bestfriend.

I enter our sala where my best friend is waiting with my wet hair, face and shoulders. My bestfriend looked at me like i'm the weirdest girl she has seen in her entire life then she called me, "Adik!" then laugh hilariously.

I also laughed. hahaha! I told her the rain water is not even enough to get me wet so I'll just take a bath in our bathroom.

My mom is also surprised. She told me "tanga ang hina hina niyan eh, pano ka maliligo dyan. sira to. dun ka maligo sa banyo."

hahaha. fool.

A Rainy Day

it's raining outside. and it feels good to see rain drizzling when you know it will not turn into some kind of a storm. it's so calm, drizzling into the cold air of november.

suddenly, i feel like i want to bathe in the rain. i wonder what my mom will think about this (me? bathing in the rain, but it's ok, she'll understand. ) yeah! i want to bathe in the rain. i'll be back with my rain bath experience. see you later.

last night, i noticed.

i just noticed.

the hanky that i'm using to wipe his sweat when were still together...

is the same hanky that i'm using to dry up my tears...

now that i'm alone.

voice over

finally after two weeks...

i had a little bit of you...

a long narrative...

which i didn't enjoy...

but your voice...

made my day...

:)

no movie tickets needed.

these past days. i've been spending most of my time hanging out and drinking with my high school and college friends. those are nights of fun but nothing out of ordinary. days are passing like cars in a highway but it seems that nothing special is happening. well, drinking with friends is fun. i had burst so many laughs that i haven't done for weeks. i've got the chance to sing my heart out in videoke. got good both shallow and deep conversations. everything's fun. but then again boredom strikes when there is nothing left to do but to stare at the TV, surf the net and play with my dog. it seems that its getting harder and harder for me to pass a day without being productive or got totally nothing to do. (i guess it's now time to move and find a job. what job? i have no idea.)

so today, i've decided to spend my time looking for some good movies that i can watch for free in the net. thanks to video hosting sites. they can provide movie suckers with high definition and new released movies. and finally, i got the two movies i've been wanting to watch. (when friends have already watched the movie you want without their notice, you'll find yourself watching in the cinema alone. one thing i hate about singlehood.)

so there. first pick. the ugly truth starring katherine heighl and gerard butler. i've heard so many good reactions from friends with this movie. and when i first saw the trailer, i really know i wanted to watch it.

(warning: spoilers)

so what's the movie all about? well its merely about what woman really wants. and what man really wants. the do's and dont's of dating and flirting. and the ugly truth between the differences of the world of a man and a woman. women are living in the world of the ideal man, a perfect guy and a fantasy romance. while men are living in the world of great sex, big tits and big asses. well, i actually don't know what to believe in. i agree that women are drowned to the idea of fantasy romance but i still have doubts if men are really just after sex. its true physical attractions comes first. guys are crazy about sex. but is it just all that? well, the movie itself proved that the ugly truth that gerard butler used to believe in is somehow not true when the time he has fallen inlove with katherine. emotions are possible.. feelings comes after physical attraction. after great sex. after big tits and asses. men are capable of falling in love. men are not dogs. they are not heartless. they can fall in love. love is not a fantasy. it is real. the truth is... not all truths are ugly, sometimes they also have beauty. but then, the movie is still fiction so i still didn't know what to believe in. hehe

another movie i scored in the net is 500 Days of Summer which is currently showing in cinemas. the movie will make you clueless on whats going to happen next because of the non contemporary plot. the first part bores me. its a story of a man named Tom who believes in fairytales, soulmates, destiny and happy endings who happens to fall in love with a woman named Summer who doesn't believe in any of those. since the woman is a non-believer of love, she told Tom that they are not going anywhere. she doesn't want anything serious. all she wanted is fun. but then, Tom agreed, though all he wanted is to be loved as he loves. his whole life revolved around Summer. and so.. a one sided love never succeeds. Tom was left broken. all his beliefs about love faded as Summer turned her down and married another man. he doubted the existence of love. but when an another encounter of Tom and Summer happened, Tom learned that Summer is no longer a non-believer of love since the day she met the guy she married. all of a sudden their beliefs reversed. Tom is now a bitter non-believer while Summer is a happily married believer of love.

soon, Tom began to pick up his broken pieces and continue life. during a job interview, another woman entered her life.. her name was Autumn.

you'll go crazy if you think all about the matters of love. though, i still tried to digest the message of the film. i think few things the film wanted to point out is that love can change our faith. love can destroy us. love makes us happy. love is complicated.. and most importantly.. have faith.. love happens.

you may not end up with the person whom you've loved so much. but it doesn't mean you'll never be loved by someone or love someone again. some things are just not meant to happen.

how i wish love can happen to me now.. aw..

Tell me where to go

it's still so fresh in my memory.

four years ago, i am with my father watching news. my father asked me. "ano bang gusto mong maging trabaho pagkagraduate mo?"

i stared at the TV... Julius Babao is reporting live from New York about the September 11 terrorist attack. then i answered, "a reporter".

my father nodded, stared at the TV and was silent the whole time. i never knew what he meant with his reaction or what he have thought about my answer since then.

the next thing i knew is that i'm taking my entrance exam in la salle dasma.

i've got my top three choices of courses that i wanted to take in my application form.

1. AB Communication
2. Broadcast Journalism
3. i can't hardly remember

i choose communication as my top choice for the reason that it is more general and has no specification. my idea is, you can't be so sure that if you've taken broadcast journalism you'll be a broadcast journalist. and so i've taken something that is more general, something that can put me anywhere as long as there is communication.

soon.. i've passed the entrance exam.. got my first choice! followed by an interview in communication arts department that i also passed.

me and my childhood friend anna who's with me along the way of applying, taking exams, passing requirements and finally enrolling.. found ourselves rejoicing as the man in the counter told us that we can already pay in the counter to enroll our subjects of our chosen course.

"yes! magkaklase tayo!" said anna.

"same section tayo?" i asked.

only to find out that we have different course codes. we've taken different courses.

"mag broadcast journalism ka na lang.. that's the same with communication.. wala naman masyadong difference.." anna told me.

then a bubble thought popped in my head. if anna and i were classmates.. it'll be more easier to adjust into college life coz you've already got someone you know.

another bubble thought popped in my head. anyway all you wanted is to be a reporter? right?

and so at the very last minute. right away i made a decision, without even thinking twice. i changed my course. i enrolled myself to broadcast journalism.

soon college life began. filled with unfamiliar people around me. culture shocked with their different attitudes and behaviors. finding ways how to get along with them. and questioning myself, did i made the right decision?

unsure with the path i've taken and being not happy and discontented with my performance in the class, i doubted myself if i am capable to continue the path that i took. soon, i was convinced that broadcast journalism is not for me. after all, im very timid, quiet and soft spoken... who would think that i can be a broadcaster? the next thing is, i'm holding my ceredentials and getting my clearance signed, planning to transfer into another universities to take a different course. that time i was planning to take up, psychology, for no reason at all. but since my grades are low, universities, such as St. Paul told me that i have to repeat 1st year college because none of my grades will be credited. i've also tried other colleges, they told me the same thing. i was hesitant, tuition fee is so expensive and i just can't put all efforts and money to trash. i can't agree to take the same minor and unrelated subjects again. i have no choice but to stay with the university that i'm into and just shift to communication arts. only to find out that there is a grade quota in shifting to comm arts. my move failed again and my only choice is to take a different course, psychology. for no reason again. well, i can be an HR.

i still can remember how the associate widened her eye and shouted at me as i told her the reason why i wanted to shift my course.

"because your not enjoying??? you are not excelling??? how can you say that??? all your subjects are still minor... and why would you take psychology??? you don't even want that course. think first. your making a major mistake. your resons aren't just reasonable."

and so i was left with no choice but to continue the path that i first chose. i have tried to get out of this path but is seems that something is hindering. a thought came in that maybe, God won't allow because maybe i am made to be here. i suddenly remembered the day when im supposed to take comm art but decided to take broadcast journ instead. the move just come without even thinking twice. and i felt so sure that what im doing is right. ok. lets deal with it.

college life goes on. attending classes. photo copying handouts. reading. answering exams. later on when i get to my higher years, studying let us experience a little bit of the profession we have to deal with. and soon, i've found myself having fun. soon, i've found myself excelling. im so thankful to our associate dean and to all the hindrances that came along, im made to be here.

and so we found ourselves dealing with eye bags and pimples for staying late, making news,writing news scripts for radio and television, writing news for news paper, discussing current issues in politics, current events.. blah.. blah.. and producing our own make believe TV ad radio shows.

time moves fast. so fast that i just found myself right now writing this blog, looking back four years from now.

but now that i'm facing reality... i've finished my college degree of bachelor of arts of broadcast journalism and currently unemployed. i know what i want to be. and now my problem is how to be that someone. freeze hiring in network station. tight competition. only the best of the bests win. only few gets the chance. you'll start small unsure whether you can make it big. but im not losing hope.

i'm a bummer for almost 2 months, still waiting for a chance to get into any television station. i often complain that i'm getting really bored at home plus im finding it hard to sleep at night.

my brother told me.. "magtrabaho ka na kasi".

i didn't know but to me it sounded like... "mag-call center ka na lang kasi".

but like i said, im not losing hope. not now. not yet. and i hope that before all hope is gone, a chance will come along.

Thoughts from the Past

i can't remember. when was the last time that i wrote something substantive? (define substantive) but i can remember some posts that i've made in the past that somehow helped me to surpass boredom. in this post i am sharing some stupid ideas i wrote in the past. these are the posts from my other blogs written few years ago. well, i've decided to keep 'em all in this blog.

Thoughts of a Thoughtless Poet

written on Jan 14, 2007

i tried to release the thoughts. no matter how uncertain it is. i can see the picture. but it's too vague. i'm blinded with the abstractions of colors and figures. and as i write it down, words just spilled out in the paper. i read it twice and thrice. but still.. its empty. i tried to imagine, putting myself to different worlds and ended up somewhere i don't know. staring at the pale colored wall in front of me. i watch my motionless shadow. sweat drops while my pen's ink drys. i'm just hopeless to give out something i've never had. it's hard to say something you've never heard. it's hard to describe something you've never seen. it is just so hard. where should i find the words? the thoughts? and the emotions? nowhere.. but here inside me. but inside me, it's empty. as a hungry poet who yearns for wisdom and life, who lacks experience and feelings, there's nothing i can do but wait, until experience teaches me, until time molds me and soon i'll have substance. so as i fill myself, i'll fill this paper.

The next one was my first and only post in filipinowriter.com

Daing na Pusit

written on December 1, 2006

Ginigising ako ng isang maingay na tunog. Hindi tumitigil, matinis, masakit sa tenga at paulit-ulit akong ginagambala sa aking pagkakahimbing. Ngunit wala akong pakialam. Hindi ko imumulat ang aking mata. Ayokong masilayan nanaman ang mundo ng usok, alikabok, buho-buhol na trapik, siksikang jeep, mainit na panahon, lubak na kalsada, mabahong palengke, basura, polusyon, quizzes, assignments, projects, mukha ng masungit kong propesor, mukha ng kaklase kong mayabang, plastik na ngiti ng seatmate kong makapal ang make-up, libro ko sa Statistics, madumi kong sapatos at matabang na pagkain sa canteen. Napapagod na ko. Patuloy na lang akong mananaginip kung saan madilim ngunit tahimik at payapa. Walang inaalala. Nagmatigas ako. Hindi ako papaapekto sa nakakarindi at nakakabulahaw na ingay na ito.

Ngunit ilang sandali pa. Sari-saring boses ang biglang nagsulputan sa aking pandinig. Tila umaayon sila sa ingay na gumigisng sa akin. Ibat'-ibang boses. Iba't-iba ang sinasabi. Pinagtutulungan nila ako!

Sabi ng makatang boring ang buhay...

"Gumising ka na! Kailangan dumilat. Kailangang tanggapin na hindi tayo nabubuhay sa pantasya mong paraiso, kung saan ang malinis at sariwang hangin ay kayamanan, kung saan ang lagaslas ng tubig ay musika, kung saan ang makukulay na bulaklak ay kaligayahan, kung saan ang sinag ng araw ay di nakakapaso."

Sabi ng pakelamera kong konsensya...

"Hindi ka pwedeng umabsent! Tanga ka ba? Isipin mo nga kung magkano ang matrikula mo sa buong semestre na ito! Tatlumpung libong piso mula sa dugo at pawis ng iyong mga magulang! Di ka ba nangihihnayang? Tanga!

Sabi ng estudyanteng grade conscious...

"Hoy! Bumangon ka diyan! Nakalimutan mo na bang may long quiz ka ngayon? Bagsak yung long quiz mo nung nakaraan! Kung gusto mong bumawi bumangon ka diyan!"

Sabi ng kung sinumang gusto lang manermon...

"Aba! Anong oras na oh?! Alam mo naman na sa 5th floor ang unang klase mo ngayon! At may assignment ka pang gagawin na hindi mo ginawa kagabi! Ayan kasi.. Katamaran!"

Sabi ng gimikera...

"Hey girlash! May gimik tayo sa Friday... remember? Kundi ka gigising ngayon wala kang baon! Wala kang panggastos sa gimik naten!"

Sabi ng malanding bakla...

"Bruha! Uy Thursday ngayon di ba? May class ka sa College of Business Building! Makikita mo nanaman yung crush mo na oh so fafable tlga! Dali na bangon na! Wag na mag-inarte! Wala kang dapat palagpasin na pagkakataon ngayon at bokya ang lovelife mo!"

Sabi ng kusinero...

"Daing na pusit, kamatis, sinangag at itlog ang almusal! Gising na!"

Sabi nilang lahat...

"GISING NA!!! BANGON NA!!!

Sabi ko...

"Waaaaaaaah!!!!! Bwiset!!!!!!!!!!

Hindi ko na matiis ang sari-saring boses na sinasabayan pa ng maingay na tunog! Inabot ko ang aking cellphone at pinindot ang buton na sagot sa kaniyang katahimikan. Pesteng alarm! Bakit pa kasing naisipan kong ialarm tong cell phone na to! Ngayo't alam ko namang hangga't maari ay ayokong magising at humarap sa panibago, nakakapagod at walang saysay na araw.

Ayaw ng utak ko gumana ngunit ang katawan ko ay tila may sariling isip. Kumikilos ng kusa. Kinuha ang tuwalya, binuksan ang ilaw, pumasok sa banyo at naligo. Parang isang manikang de susi. Wala akong magawa at wala na kong magagawa. Ako ay isang nilalang na binigyan ng buhay upang mabuhay at mabuhay sa buhay. Heto nanaman ako, haharapin ang isang panibagong umaga na hindi ko naman ninais masilayan.

Ilang minuto ang nakalipas at di ko namalayang nakaupo na pala ako sa jeep na siyang aking tagapaghatid- sundo ko sa araw-araw. Iniabot ko ang bente at pinagpasapashan ng tatlong kamay bago makarating kay mamang drayber. Labing walong piso ang pamasahe ko hanggang school, ngunit kung hindi mo sasabihin ang magic word, ito ay magigigng bente. Ano ang magic word? "Estudyante po!" Shing! Yun ang magic word! Ngunit nung araw na iyon tila wala akong lakas magsalita ni "ha" ni "ho" kaya't walang kibo ko lang na iniabot ang bente at hindi na naghintay na may babalik na sukli. Ngunit, Aba! Nagsukli si mamang drayber! Dalawang piso ang bumalk sa bulsa ko. May marunong pa palang magsukli ng tama sa ngayon. Mabuti naman. Kahit papano nabawasan ang kabadtripan ko.

Sinuri ko ang bawat mukhang nakapaligid sa akin sa jeep na iyon. "Sila kaya? Ginusto kaya nilang magising para sa araw na ito? O napilitan lang sila gaya ko?" Hindi ko alam. Dumungaw ako sa labas ng bintana ng jeep. Tinanaw ang paligid kahit na batid kong wala naman akong magandang makikita. Basura, polusyon, trapiko, sirang kalsada, sari-saring mukha ng tao at mukha ng kahirapan. Sadyang ganito lang siguro ang buhay. Alam mong walang dapat asahan ngunit patuloy kang umaasa. Ayaw mong gumising ngunit obligado ka o di kaya'y nagbabakasakaling baka sa araw na ito ay magkaroon ng pagbabago. Na sana sa susunod na iyong pagdungaw, maganda ang tatambad sa iyong mukha. Naghihintay sa maaring magandang mangyari. Magkaroon man lamang ng magandang dahilan upang ngumiti at gumising para sa susunod na bukas. Umaasang mahahanap ang kagandahan sa pangit na mundo.

(full of negativity.. hehe)

Touched for the Very First Time

hi to anyone who will read this. this is my first time to write a post in this blog. i've made this blog a long time ago and never made a post since that day. my reason? i forgot the password.. along with the password i've also forgot that i have a blog. well, few days ago i've read some blogs of other people and suddenly i just remembered that i have a blog too, so i tried to recover my account. along with the recovery of this account i also suddenly felt that i want to write again.

it's like a search for a missing pen. once you've found it, you must use it. or else you'll fail to give it the reason for it's existence and it's purpose in this world.

what to write about???

anything.