Because I'm not HER

I know you're hurt

I know you're in pain

I know it's not easy to replace

hundreds of days and memories of her

And i know i can never take the special place

where you kept her in your heart

My time is short. My chances are small.

It's almost impossible.

But I tried.

Because the day I met you.

I know I am meant to love you.

And i want to take all your pain away

I want to heal all your wounds

I want to make you happy

I want to take care of you

I want to be the reason behind your smile

I want you to make you feel your worth

I want to stay beside you through thick or thin

I want to give you new memories to remember

I want to make you feel that you are not alone

I want to love you

But how can i?

When you never stop loving her?

When you always choose her over me?

When you never love me the way you love her?

When you choose to hurt me just to have her back?

When you never fight for what we have?

And no matter how small your hopes are

I always know it's her not me :(

And whenever you come close to her

She breaks your heart

But not only your heart

It also breaks mine :(

You're not just hurting yourself

You're also hurting me

You're hurting us

Until all i can gain is pain

and it's just too much to bear

Until all i can give is anger

and we're falling apart

Until it builds insecurities in me

and it made a fear out of me

That i'm never good enough for you

Because I AM NOT HER. :(

I hope you understand why I gave up.

And I want you to know It's still you in my heart.

I don't know for how long.

But let me have this chance to tell you

maybe for the last time

I love you.

isn't it crazy?

it's a funny thing...

it took me 22 years to find you...

we've only been together for 1 month, 2 weeks and a day...

and now...

we have to wait for another 2 years...

just to be together again...

but let me tell you...

you're the best i ever had... :)

a little something for you

baby.. akalain mo yun one month na tayo.. parang ang tagal na no? hehehehe... i made this simple something for you. cheesy pero cheesy talaga eh. hahaha! click the picture for a better view... basahin mo ha kahit nakakaduling? hahaha... sana magustuhan mo. pag hindi mo nagustuhan magpanggap ka na lang na nagustuhan mo ha? hahahaha. happy one month!
i love u. :)

FOR YOU

i love the fireworks i saw the night when we first met.

i love the moment when i turned my back and you were there.

i love to treasure the moment when you asked for my number.

i love it when i found that the first text message i received the other day was coming from you.

i love the days we spent texting the whole day just to get to know each other.

i love it when you asked me to go out back to the place where we first met.

i love to see you in that club with the dim light, surrounded by the wonderful music of our time.

i love the blasting speakers of that club and the fact that you have to whisper to my ear whenever you need to say something.

i love how you put ice tubes in my glass.

i love the way how you covered my watch whenever i take a look at it to check the time.

i love how you hold me.

i love your smell.

i love your eyes.

i love your arms.

i love your back.

i love how you steal a kiss from me.

i love how you look at me.

i love how you said that you like me.

i love the moment when you asked me to be your girl.

i love Jason Derulo's "What if".

i love Usher and Derek Ramsay.

i love our late night chat.

i love it when you call.

i love it every time you call me "Baby".

i love to dream waking up one morning in Puerto Galera and seeing you beside me.

i love the moment when we first drink coffee together.

i love how you ate my blueberry cheesecake.

i love to see your transcript of record and laugh at your grades. :)

i love to hear your stories about the crazy things you did back in college.

i love the way you hold my hand every time we walk together.

i love the way how you kiss me goodbye and say that you love me whenever we part.

i love to tell you "i love you" the moment you open your eyes and the time before you close it.

i love to monitor your eating habits. (breakfast, lunch, merienda, dinner)

i love to rest my bones in your arms.

i love to watch you sleep.

i love to sing a song for you.

i love to hug you tight.

i love to kiss you.

i love to cheer you in every basketball game you play.

and i love how you tell me that you won the game.

i love how you ask permission whenever you'll go out with your friends.

and i love how you assure me that you'll behave.

i love to comfort you when your dog died.

i love to take care of you when you are sick.

i love to sleep wrapped in your arms.

i love to massage you when your back aches.

i love to play 'lucky-nine' with you.

i love to get drunk with you.

i love to make you happy in any simple way that i can.

i love to love everything that you love.

i love to thank you for loving me.

i love to love you.

i love to hear you love me too.

i love you RON.

Bye

GOODBYE FOR GOOD!

"Certain things are lost forever" - Paulo Coehlo, Eleven Minutes

aw

i sold my manual SLR for 1K and i felt BAD.

i really need cash.

Bente-Uno

hey dianne,

you're twenty-one years old. when you were younger, you thought being twenty-one requires great responsibilities and high level of maturity. you thought twenty-one is OLD. but now you're in the middle of being twenty-one, you see yourself, you're still a kiddo, ignorant of this life. trying this and trying that but not getting enough. wanting to be someone. imagining if the world is better, life is better.

and you find out that being twenty-one is being jobless, loveless and penniless.

what else can be worse than that?

sigh.

go dianne!

get some LIFE!

Shit.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable.

It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

- Niel Gaiman